When You Get Stood Up: Finding God's Faithfulness in the Midst of Rejection

It was a morning like most others. I woke up a bit early to spend time in the Bible before the hustle of the day crept up on me. Once the kids and I were ready, we loaded ourselves into the car and set out for the day ahead of us. I had plans after dropping them off to meet a local ministry leader at a coffee shop downtown. We didn’t have any agenda apart from connecting and seeing how we could support each other in ministry. Usually, I send a quick confirmation email the day before I have a meeting set up to ensure everything is still good to go, but I must have been busy because I didn’t do that this time.

As I walked into the coffee shop, the soft rumble of the coffee grinder filled the air, along with the aroma of freshly ground beans. I walked up to the counter and quickly scanned the menu, selecting a London Fog. I paid for my order, smiled at the barista, and said, “Thank you.” As I turned, I found a wobbly table with two chairs. I immediately regretted not bringing a book but decided to catch up on some emails instead. Each time the door opened, I looked up to see if it was the person I was waiting for, but it wasn’t. So, I settled back into my chair and continued to wait.

There is a strong level of disappointment that can quickly rise when we face the cold, hard reality that we have been forgotten. I believe it’s a human tendency to translate this into a sense of rejection and abandonment, as though we are not worthy enough to be remembered or prioritized.

Growing up, I faced many seasons of insecurity. I also set myself up for failure by holding out for people who had never really valued me—people who had never chosen to go the extra mile to seek me out. One of my long-time boyfriends back in the day would stand me up all the time. I would excitedly prepare for our date and wait with anticipation by my flip phone, hoping and praying that he would at least text. The day would pass, and my makeup would begin to run down my face as I ugly-cried and felt sorry for myself. I wish I could go back and tell younger me to stop being an idiot and just break up with him. Of course, I eventually did—but that was due to divine intervention.

Many of us have experienced the pain of being let down by the people we admire, the ones we want to get to know, the ones we prioritize our time for. Whether it’s in our personal relationships, work, or ministry, the human heart is not ignorant to the pain of being forgotten.

Christ has not forgotten us. He is the one who continues to seek us out, whether in the hustle of a coffee shop or the bedroom of a seventeen-year-old girl who is putting too much effort into a relationship that doesn’t fulfill God’s design. Yet often, that doesn’t seem like enough to our humanity. It’s almost classified as being in a different category.

In John 4:14, it says, “But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. They will thirst no more, because the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” As humans, we almost expect that our humanity is set apart from our spirituality. But the two are intertwined to create something beautiful. As we walk through this life, we will experience the pain of rejection. Sometimes it will be because of our own expectations, trying to fit a part of our lives into a design we weren’t created for. Other times, it will be the result of someone simply forgetting to meet with us. At the heart of that rejection, we are invited into the solitude of being present with the God who created us on purpose for the purpose of having a relationship with Him.

I had an impromptu coffee date with Jesus. And yes, my flesh still wrestles with this a bit, as someone who has struggled with insecurity for most of my childhood. The enemy would love for me to believe that I was rejected, unworthy, and not important enough to make time for. He has been breathing that lie into my soul since my adoption. The difference is, today, I know that even when I am faced with the forgetfulness of humanity, I may be let down. But that doesn’t define who I am or my value to God. He stands in the battle against my flesh and blood and positions my feet for war against the lies of the enemy. He is actively working to re-write my identity to what He intended it to be, shedding the lies and exposing the vulnerability of Eden.

I encourage you to recognize the power of showing up in the lives of those around you, to embrace our call as Christians to not grow weary in doing good, because we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9). The greatest harvest I’ve been able to reap is the rushing water of a soul filled with the purpose, sacrifice, and dedication of the only one who loved me to the cross. So, if you face rejection, abandonment, and even neglect by the people in your life that you long for community with, stand firm in knowing that God will never leave you or forsake you. Not only that, but allow God to hold you accountable to the people in your life that you are walking with. Learn to take ownership when you make a mistake, honor those around you with your words and deeds, and show the love of Christ to your neighbor—even when they fail to show up for you.

Luke 6:31 – “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

I didn’t follow up with the ministry leader. After half an hour of waiting, I walked out the door, got into my car, and drove off to do some shopping. I’m not sure if this person will realize that they forgot or not. I’m not concerned about it, though. They invited me to coffee; I would have enjoyed the connection, but at the end of the day, I trust that God has a plan. And in knowing that, I can look back over my life and see the faithfulness of the God who always shows up. I can also see how He has been refining me over the last fourteen years, healing my insecurities and teaching me to rest in the stillness of His embrace, even in moments of rejection.

If this message has encouraged or convicted you, I ask that you spend some time in prayer. Ask God to help mend those broken relationships and be willing to step out in the awkwardness of being accountable. But also, spend time thanking God for His faithfulness in your story. And don't forget to bring a book.